“IMAX. Everything has to be IMAX,” Christopher Nolan mumbles unhingedly grafting the camera into his chest

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LOS ANGELES— Movie writer Christopher Nolan reportedly had a nervous breakdown while filming his new movie Oppenheimer in which he grafted an IMAX camera into his chest.

“This world, it’s too grainy and thin,” Nolan pontificated to shocked onlookers, randomly stitching a lens between his pecs. “I have to shoot everything, in a clean and beautiful high resolution format. Yes, the company may have to pay three dollars more for their ticket, but my masterpiece will be worth it. Studio notes, budget worries, those things mean nothing to me now. I became Nolan, film director.

Oppenheimer Star Cillian Murphy gave insight into what may have triggered Nolan in the first place.

“Warner Brothers was getting worried about the budget and said we couldn’t afford to shoot the whole movie on IMAX,” Murphy explained. “I saw Chris take one of the cameras they confiscated from his trailer with sewing kits from the wardrobe department with a maniacal look in his eyes. When I went to see him, the poor bastard was cowering and grimacing in pain, I tried to intervene but I was just too late. Hope his wife is okay too. You know how he gets along with women.

Nolan then held a press conference to reinforce his new appendage and what it means for the future of cinema.

“Try to take IMAX away from me now,” chuckled Nolan. “You’ll have to bring a lot more than some studio executives because I’m taking this baby all over the world. I won’t rest until every filmmaker has the ability to shoot incredible action sequences with stunning immersion , at the cost of most of its lifespan and internal organs.

As of press time, sources close to Nolan admitted that while this episode was chilling to watch, the footage captured was nothing short of breathtaking.


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